i have this awful feeling in my gut that i cnt get rid of. idk what it is. it feels as if i'm never gonna be happy again. you know, the feeling like as if one of those Dementors in HP came flying by. im never gonna be cheerful again. never gonna see the sun's warmth. never gonna feel loved. never gonna feel ME. i know it sounds rather strange and random, me being all this depressed. but idk why i feel like that. i just do. i keep watching love stories, happy endings. but it just occurred to me that i'm never gonna have one. what should i do now ? what can i possibly do after this ? what am i ? do i belong to someone ? am i worthy enough for anyone ? Questions, questions, questions. No answer.

i hate feeling this way but i cnt help it. no one seems to understand. no one seems to care. STBM. truly.