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i'm through.
Monday, July 19, 2010
i'm done with this. i've finally decided too. right now, u don't need me anymore. i was just a toy. a child's plaything. i've decided i shall do what i do best in every failed relationship. ignore, avoid and move on. this way i will forget. and yes i want to forget. forget all our plans, forget all our texts and chats. forget everything. i dont wanna feel anything anymore. and thanks to you this will be the final time i will ever fall for someone so much.
i dont blame u, it aint ur fault. i wished i can be like the mom in "the perfect man" able to run away and move to another country after every bad relationship. but i cnt cos i won't have anywhere to go. i want you out of my life, and i want me out of yours. this way i won't disturb and create havoc in your world. you won't have to think even more. its been my fault. always. and i know it. i'm nth but a troublemaker.
this mask i've been trying hard to pull, finally wrecked thru last night. endless nightmares, crying myself to sleep and waking up with puffy eyes. i can hide it all in school, but in my heart, the thunder never stops. i'm blessed to have my awesome friends to make me forget you. it turns out ure like all the other guys i've met. a lesson to be remembered and learnt.
why do this keep happening to me ? i called my brother yesterday, he gave me the comfort i needed. in the middle of the night, when i was weak and broken, he sorta fix me just by talking it out with me. i missed him. last night i needed him ever so badly. he never lets me down. and i wished i will meet someone who never let me down. he's my hero, and he will always be.
thanks for the memories. thanks for bringing me down. thanks for giving my face a tight slap. thanks for waking me up from this dream. thanks for everything.
i need a fcking hug fcking badly.
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*SENTIMENTALSYAF*